the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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