If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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