I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize