Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize