I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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