you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize