If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
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would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
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and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
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