I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize