Just fell off a train. Bad.
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The beer is more important than you right now.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
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