They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
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