What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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