Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
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