Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Randomize