my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
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We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
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What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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