is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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