have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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