it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
50% drunk capacity currently
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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