she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
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You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
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Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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