How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
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