omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
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These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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