therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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