Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
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