I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize