I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize