we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize