i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize