I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
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