can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize