I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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