You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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