So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
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