Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
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