Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize