Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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