so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
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