i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize