also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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