Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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