My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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