i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
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Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
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I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
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