and you said cock pushups were impossible
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
do nipples grow back?
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