I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Shitshow foam night was such a success
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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