just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
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i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
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I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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