I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
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After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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