theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
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you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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