i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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