whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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