DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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