I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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