I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
The best revenge is premature balding
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
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